This Sandwich Isn’t for Sissies

My run in with the Banh Mi re-ignited my sandwich love.  I go through phases with these breaded darlings. I can only rely on City Market to get my fix, because they carry Udis and most sandwich places aren’t down with the gluten free. But when I was house sitting I wanted a simple lunch and since I was given free range of the kitchen (most of which I couldn’t eat anyway) I decided I was going to take full advantage of the package of bacon nestled between the shrunken blackberries and rigor-mortised lime that had seen better days.

Bacon is a devious meat. Even my friend Natalie, a vegetarian for many, many years, admits the smell of it sizzling is utterly seductive. In my opinion, bacon is one of the best tasting foods in the world, though unfortunately not the healthiest. I buy it once or twice a season, but if I had my way I’d eat an entire package of it in one crispy sitting. Since I planned on having a sandwich for lunch a few days, I didn’t want a meager BLT. I wanted something more substantial, something a 50s chauvinist husband would be proud of as he gave my bum an approving tap.  So, I combined my love of smoked salmon, eggs, and the BLT to create a mega sandwich of protein packed proportions. If you aren’t the salty-loving type this may not be for you, but if you are the guy or gal who would suck the pistachio shell just for the sodium, then please keep reading.



2-3 Slices of Bacon

1 Fried Egg (I like mine a tiny bit gooey)

2 Slices of Bread (as always, for gluten free folks I endorse Udis)

3 Slices of Tomato

A few Spinach, Romaine, or Lettuce leaves

2 Slivers of Smoked Salmon



Long sleeve shirt (no one likes bacon grease burns)

Tin can



There is right way to cook bacon and a wrong way to cook bacon, and Chris’s mom once told me how to get perfect bacon that didn’t look like slices of coal. The key is to put bacon in the pan before you turn on the stove. This allows the bacon to become acclimated to the temperature. Don’t forget, you don’t need to spray, oil, or butter the pan, as bacon cooks in its own fat. Stay nearby when you’re cooking bacon and flip it with a fork before you think it’s cooked to your liking on the first side. The second side doesn’t take nearly as long, so now is not the time to get stuck in a conversation with your roommate or run to the bathroom. Tell me them shut up. Do the pee dance. Keep your eyes on the prize, babes. You will not abandon your post. Right before you think your bacon is done, take it off, as it will continue to cook even off the heat. I like my bacon crisp with a few rubbery knobs. Cut the bacon in half and put aside.

Next, very carefully crack the egg into the bacon grease. If you don’t have anything to cover your arms, it might be a better idea to crack it into a bowl and transfer that into the pan. While the egg cooks put take out your bread and put the bacon, tomatoes, spinach, and salmon on top. Flip the egg, and when that is done add it to the delicious pile of food and bring the pieces together. Hold on taste buds. Cool your jets stomach.

Now grab your tin can (and yes, it has to be tin or metal or glass, but not plastic, unless you want to be running to the ER with a burn) and carefully pour the excess bacon grease into it. Pouring this stuff down the sink leads to clogged drains. Let it cool and after you’re done eating throw the can away (unless you’re cool and save your bacon fat, in which case you’re already a pro and this is all “haaa-durrr” information”)

Now that your sandwich has had a little bit of time to settle, and the egg has cooled down, slice it in half, plate it, and try to not inhale it. Savor.

Peel Away ❤